BREATHE

Finding "home" in the most unexpected place

2012-01-20T16:00:00.017-05:00

If I say I was terrified the first time I walked in ,it would be an understatement.
Yes , I wasn't the first one in the world who had a first day at work, at their very first job - nevertheless I was entitled to my fears and feelings.
Don't get me wrong , nothing could suppress my excitement and energy to step into the "real world". The fire within to prove myself, the passion to go nowhere but up, the upbringing that made me strive to be liked by all - there was a lot to work for.

I think its the fear of the unknown that is the most intimidating. I dint know anyone I would be working with and therefore dealing with unfamiliar personalities was daunting. The work itself was challenging , yes , but that's what I was there for , wasn't I ?

Everyday was a new challenge - work wise as well as from the point of view of working with new and different people. As time flew by, I started knowing people around , I started understanding my work and started making a place for myself in there.

I think I just breezed through each day. When people around me complained on Sundays about the weekend being over , I secretly longed for Monday to come so that I could be with the people I had begun to love so much.

There were colleagues, mentors, friends and role models. It was a place where every word you said was heard and respected. A place that offered opportunities not only to grow upwards but in all directions.

It was gratifying to be in a place where people acknowledged you and your work. The atmosphere was very professional and yet comfortable. Now comfort is a two edged sword. Where on one hand we do everything to be comfortable in whatever we do and wherever we are , it also means that it will hold us back from finding out if there are more comfortable things. I loved my work , the people , the place a lot ... but I realized if I dint leave ..I would have never left.

Making this decision,made me realize something else,something so big,that can only come from the most professional,mature and respectable people.There was always support at every step I took, even when I decided to take the step - to move out.

Today when I look back 5 years , I remember the day when I thought my knees would unbuckle and I would fall down, but I also remember that I dint take me too long to start walking as if I owned that place. Finding all good people in the same place is rare , but I am fortunate for having found that place with those people.

I miss the work, the environment , each and everyone very much . People around me say its unusual and some find it rather funny. I simply call it passion.
I don't remember a single day that I would complain about.
I learnt a lot, grew tremendously , met and worked with the best people.

I worked here, slogged here ,struggled at times , celebrated many times ... and before I knew it - it had become home !!

Pick those Pockets

2012-01-08T16:15:00.005-05:00

Pockets.. don’t we just love them? Isn’t that where dad took money out from If you live in New England, you just cant deny that there is definitely some chemistry between those cold hands and the oh-so-cozy pockets .

I simply love dresses with pockets… they can playful and flirty – one hand in the pocket , one on your waist with a slight hip thrust , OR they can create the I-am-all-business-look-better-pay-attention-look so very effortlessly.

I came across this Sonia Rykiel dress and cant wait to put my hands on it or rather in those cute patch pockets.

Declare

Dream

Drool

Pockets on your dresses are right on trend…chic, cute, convenient !! so empty those pockets and go get some !!!

Some words ... just stay with you ...forever !!

2011-09-09T21:23:00.009-04:00

His love is a kind of personal oxygen; it can lift you, and once it’s in you it becomes vital to you. I could wrap it around me like a shawl o use it like a sword against the world; I could hide with it, run with it, play with it, show it off like a badge of honour or curl up with like a cat. It’s moist and huge, pliant and energizing.
Around him, I feel lit up from some place deep inside; I feel invincible, extravagant.

Rhea to Karan - The Lost Flamingoes of Bombay

These words left a strong, an kind of inebriated impression on me.

They made me wonder ....

How many of us have felt a love like this?

How many of us have one person in our lives who fit this bill?

How many of us have one person in our lives who fits one of these attributes?

Whatever the answers are ... these is one of the most beautiful description I've ever read about love... about security ..about companionship ... about feeling complete !!!

Faith

2011-07-09T23:11:00.002-04:00

Each time I think I am going weak - these words give me the strength to move forward .

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”

Choices... bend or break

2011-03-12T10:14:00.004-05:00

Life is all about making choices. Infact every step we take, no matter how trivial or how eminent, consciously or unconsciously we are making choices.
Some of them are obvious and some rather difficult and unexpected. We surprise ourselves at times – as if we did not expect ourselves to be capable of making them. Sometimes, these choices stagger us because this is not what we expected.

I’ve being doing some theatre for quite some time now. Nothing major, small roles in plays which run in the theatre district of Boston. The stage always gives me an inexplicable “high”, a great sense of satisfaction and boundless joy. I had to make a rather difficult choice yesterday.

I auditioned for a play recently and I absolutely loved the lead character in the play. The play is based on this girl who has a crumbling family, string of affairs with the wrong guys, anger management issues, a drinking problem, an abortion, a child with her therapist... and around all these issues – she’s actually trying to explore her actual self. Sounds interesting, doesn’t it? I fell in love with the character the moment I read the script for the range of emotions and the varied arc she portrays. So obviously I desperately wanted a role in the play and more importantly, the lead.

Guess how unbelievably jubilant I would have been, when I received an email from the director that I actually bagged the role. It said a lot and moreover meant a lot.

So, rehearsals began and I was enjoying being the lead and in every single scene. Talking about scenes, some of the scenes was …ummm... sort of … R-Rated …lets just say that. My director and I had talked about these scenes and we had come to agreement that these scenes would be done such that they were in my comfort zone. We were three days into rehearsals and it was time to get into “those scenes”. As we were reading our lines and playing with the scenes – it turns out, I wasn’t comfortable. The comfort zone which I was supposed to work around with apparently did not exist.
The director came up with a few compromises on the script to accommodate my discomfort. But now the compromises were making here uncomfortable.
I understood, that as a director, she must have had some character – some scene in mind. I dint want her to compromise on that. So, I confronted her, told her that it’ll be okay if she wants to reconsider her casting decision.

She couldn’t quite understand the reason for my reservations. She insisted that it was only acting.It was only theatre. It was only stage intimacy. But, then, each person is different and we have different limits for different things. I tried to tell her that may be it’s got something to do with where I come from or may be it’s a cultural thing. But I knew, it has got nothing to do with anything else – its just who I am. Some limits cannot be justified or explained and for that matter – need not be.

She wanted me us to work around the scenes and try to explore our comfort levels of compromise and meet somewhere in between. But the truth is – there was no between that could become my comfort zone. I had to choose between finding a way to “act” out the scenes or give up the character that I loved and started getting into. I had a choice to make and a choice I made. A choice to not compromise and a choice to turn down the role.

Now I play another character in the show. It breaks my heart each time I rehearse for the show. My mom reckoned me that this was after all my decision, after all a choice I made. My dad counseled me – the way I did not compromise in this play – I should never compromise in my life.

A Toast to my favorite month

2010-12-12T21:26:00.004-05:00

I am a summer girl. Yes – a true summer girl. Floral dresses, short shorts, tanks, beaches and a lot of margaritas!!!

Growing up in Bombay ,the only seasons we make friends with are summer and the monsoons. When everyone complained about the heat, I wasn’t far behind in joining hands for sharing the woes. But it dint take me too long to understand what people meant when they said that we realize the value of things in life, when they are not around. Well what can I say? – I moved to Boston.
Boston!! Where, the 4 months of summer is a luxury. It is treasured and pampered like the only girl born to a family of boys, after eons. When the winter season in Bombay is a complete stranger , moving to Boston meant not only befriending it – but actually moving in with it, because it lives with you for almost 3/4th part of the year !!

Living in New England has definitely taught me to appreciate the summers – but somewhere deep down I also have a secret affair with the winters here. It’s that kind of affair that you don’t talk about openly, like cheating with the winters on your beloved summers. But, there is something just so magical about the winters here that you can’t help but fall in love with them.

The early sunsets are notoriously blamed for making the days depressing. I beg to defer here .I feel the short nights and the long days call for the festive lights to be turned on soon. There is certain crispness in the air at all times of the day. When you have spent 21 years in Bombay, where snow is only seen in the movies, experiencing snow first hand, can bring out the child in you, every single time.

December itself is just so festive - a few days after celebrations of Diwali and a nice long weekend for Thanksgiving, enters my most favorite month of the year!!
The month of Christmas, Christmas holidays, the beautifully lit balconies, homes adorned with Christmas trees , the new year’s eve and ofcourse my birthday. Every single day is a festival and calls for celebrations.

Although we traditionally don’t celebrate Christmas, the trimming and decorating the Christmas tree has been a tradition at home right from the time I was a little girl. Waking up to find gifts placed under the tree, is something I look forward to every year. After coming to Boston, just walking down the Boston Commons, the huge Christmas tree visible from any where in the park, carols playing and the kids skating makes me so oblivious to the cold weather.

The first snow is oh so special – re-instills my love for the winters. Waking up to a white blanket that spreads across everything is a treat. I still remember my first snow in Boston, when I called up home and squealed like a little girl screaming into the phone – “its Snowing mom” and walked shamelessly with my mouth open trying to get the snow flakes in my mouth.

I shall not deny that there are times when I complain and crib and cry over the unbearable cold and the winds and times when I pray for the summers to come back – but the snow, these beautiful short days, the lights - this season will always hold a special place in my heart .

Officially - obsessed !!!

2010-07-20T23:18:00.009-04:00

This time I shall spare the weather from bearing the brunt of my blame for my bout of baking. If something can make me almost skip my workout and rush home – it has got to be something serious. So now its official – I am obsessed with being in the kitchen experimenting with new recipes !!! :)

I couldn't wait to get home today evening and inspite of having a splitting headache,couldn't resist making what I had been planning since last 2 days,
to be precise when Mr.A goofed up “yet again” (not even getting into that right now !!! ) in getting stuff from the grocery store …huh !!! There are very few times when I ask A to pick something up from the grocery store on his way back home - so this time when I asked him to pick some bananas,he ended up getting half a dozen mushy , over-ripe ones.

Just looking at them , I knew they found their way to my house for a reason. They had a higher calling – a final goal to be part of something very delectable and satisfying – a banana bread :)

Its amazing that the preparation time for this bread is so less and needs so little work to be done and doesn't even result in too many dishes in the sink .Another great part of this recipe was that I made it without using eggs.

Ingredients :
3 ripe bananas
1 ½ all purpose flour
½ cup butter
2 tsp vanilla essence
1 cup sugar
1 ½ tbsp milk
½ cup chocolate chips
1 tsp baking soda
½ tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt

Method :
Preheat the oven to 325F and prepare loaf pan ( 8in * 4 in )
Cream the butter, sugar and vanilla essence
Add the flour,milk,baking powder,baking soda and salt and mix properly
Mash bananas and add in the batter
Stir in the chocolate chips
Pour the batter in the pan and bake for 60 min.
Test with toothpick till it comes out clean.

I also made pani-puri today evening and with no excuse stuffed myself with banana bread ,then pani puri and then again banana bread . Cant wait to have it for breakfast tomorrow morning :)

Admitting to a simple pleasure

2010-07-18T10:13:00.017-04:00

The Boston weather sure has been playing games with me. It looks like a cumulative conspiracy of the entire world including nature to stop me from going to my beloved mall.Living in Boston for the last 5 years ,has taught me that it is best to keep three fundamentals in my car at all times: an umbrella, an ice scraper, and a beach towel. I swear that I've used all three in one week, too. Last weekend was pouring incessantly, whereas this weekend called for such a heat wave , that the insides of the car were blazing and you couldn't’t step in unless someone turns on the A/c for atleast 10 hours before you want to step in.

Ok !!! I may be exaggerating, but it was so hot – that I just dint feel like doing anything but sit inside – watch a move, read a book… and COOK :)

Right from the day one of my colleagues' mentioned , that in the movie Amélie – breaking the caramelized layer of sugar on top of a crème brule is considered one of life’s simplest pleasures – I have been dying to make it and try it myself.

And since the time I opened my kitchen doors to eggs , there is a whole new variety of things that are waiting to be made.

If I may say, then Crème Brulee is one of the most easiest deserts I’ve ever made and the outcome is … you have to try it to know :)

Here goes the recipe ( courtesy Ohad's Recipe Blog )

Ingredients
.2 cups heavy cream
.1 Vanilla bean, split
.¼ cup sugar
.4 egg yolks

Method
.Preheat oven to 300ºF
.Pour the cream into a small pot. Split the vanilla bean and scrape the seeds into the cream. Add the two bean halves into the cream
.Heat the cream over medium heat, bring to a boil. Let cool a little.
.Whisk the egg yolks and the sugar until the yolks turn light yellow.
.Combine (Carefully) the cream and the egg yolks and mix. Do not whip.
.Boil water in a pot
.Place the ramekins in the baking dish and pour the boiling water in the baking dish – as much to cover atleast till 3/4th of the height of the ramekins
.Now, pour the mixture in the ramekins
.Bake for 45 minutes
.Let it cool for sometime and then put in the refrigerator for atleast 2 hours.
.Before serving : sprinkle sugar on top and caramelize with a burner.

(Disclaimer!!! I have to give some credits here to A for I am still hypocritical and not open to using eggs myself,my affair with the oven still continues where it touches me only when hot enough to leave love-bites on my hands and the burner was such a cool tool - that A was adamant on caramelizing the sugar himself )

Now I am definitely not of those people who believe in simple living and simple pleasures don't really mean much to me as much as my obsession with labels do. But I have to admit that the final product of this experience of making the crème brulee – which is -warm on top and cool on the inside – hard on top and soft and wobbly on the inside – almost gave me a high !!! Cracking the top layer of the sugar gives you such a pleasure – simple and unbelievable.

And to go give company the crème brulee, I made telepathic dahi vadas ( I say telepathic because more often than not – my mom and I crave for the same things and before I could ask her for a recipe, I see one in my mailbox )

When you’re happy and you know …

2010-07-10T23:54:00.012-04:00

Weekend… isn’t this is the only motivation for dragging ourselves through the daily monotonous chores of life – home-work-home and the same routine again.
Now, I personally don’t feel the same (well, there are some exceptions always) – but that’s the general consensus that I have gathered. When you wake up on a weekend, you have an entire 2 days of just chilling out planned out.

Today,when I woke up, I just knew that today is a day to be made special. And talking about special, the first thing that comes to my mind is go to my “second” home – the mall :) But , since the weather Gods weren’t so supportive of my shopping plans, I decided to do the next best thing that gives me immense satisfaction – cooking !!!

Now, if you are wondering what was the occasion for having a special day – I’d come up with a hundred lame ones but the most genuine one being – do we need occasions to celebrate ? :)

So I decided to bake a cake and have a lovely spread of dinner to go with it.
As much as I am intrigued and in love with the whole concept of baking, I am equally intimidated too. More often than not, my Betty Crocker( cake-mix) ones also don’t come out as well. But this time, I gathered the spunk to bake one - right from scratch. I scoured through all my recipe books and goggled furiously to get something meant for a novice like me.

Finally, I zeroed down on a recipe for …hold your breath… Black Forest Cake!!!

I was so apprehensive in making this one, that I literally said a prayer before starting my mission: cake-from-scratch. But somewhere deep down I knew that my intent to have a celebrated day will not let anything jinx my mission.

And so I just did it …

Black Forest Cake: (adapted from multiple recipes available at http://allrecipes.com )

Ingredients
2 1/8 cups all-purpose flour
3 cups white sugar
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
3 eggs
1 1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
2 (20 ounce) cans pitted sour cherries
I banana
1/4 cup cornstarch
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 cups whipped cream
Pam

Directions
1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease with Pam on all sides.
2.In a large bowl, combine flour, 2 cups sugar, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add eggs, milk, oil, and 1 tablespoon vanilla; beat until well blended. Pour batter into prepared pans.
3.Bake for 35 minutes, or until wooden toothpick inserted in centers comes out clean. Cool layers in pans on wire racks 10 minutes. Loosen edges, and remove to racks to cool completely.
4.Drain cherries, reserving 1/2 cup juice. Combine reserved juice, cherries, 1 cup sugar and cornstarch in a 2 quart saucepan. Cook over low heat until thickened, stirring constantly. Stir in 1 teaspoon vanilla. Cool before using.
5.With a long knife, split each cake layer horizontally in half. Reserve 1 1/2 cups frosting for decorating cake; set aside. Gently brush loose crumbs off top and side of each cake layer with pasty brush or hands. To assemble, place one cake layer on cake plate. Spread with 1 cup frosting; top with 3/4 cup cherry topping. Top with second cake layer; repeat layers of frosting and cherry topping. Top with third layer. Frost side of cake. Tear the fourth layer and pat on frosting on sides.
Set a few cherries and bananas on the top layer.
6.Use the whipped cream to give different strokes of frosting.

A few things I shall change the next time I make this cake –
I am definitely replacing canned cherries with fresh ones and completely skipping the cherry juice,
I might add a little bit more milk, because the cake wasn’t as gooey as I would have loved it, buts that’s totally personal choice.

The funniest part of baking this cake was the hypocritical me. I am a vegetarian on paper – and only eat eggs in forms where it cannot be seen (e.g.: pancakes, cakes, cookies …) But when you bake a cake from scratch and you really wanna use egg – what do you do? Simply be hypocritical ;)
I asked A to pour the eggs in my cake-mixture and asked him to blend it, and I re-entered the kitchen only till all signs of eggs being ever used were gone.

I loved the cake, loved that it wasn’t too liquid or burnt. Loved the fact that I did not cringe on adding those extra layers of frosting and loved the fact that devoured almost half of it without feeling guilty.
After all – I was in a mood for celebration. Celebrations go hand in hand with calories!!! dont they ;)

To stick to my celebratory mood – I also made Cheesy stuffed tomatoes and Tri-layered stuffed capsicum.

Tomorrow definitely calls for an additional 30 min of workout, but for now I am just chilling out, celebrating with another slice of the scrumptious cake in bed :)

Generation Gap - what really defines and justifies it ???

2010-05-16T19:51:00.003-04:00

I don’t know what or how many years define a generation gap. Is it the age difference between parents and kids, or the in vogue definition of the Gen-X and Gen-Y?
When I was a teen girl (ya… it’s been eons that was true), I heard my mom telling my dad to be more supportive of my never-ending phone calls and late nights and using generation gap as the defense mechanism to appease him.

But today, I see a whole new meaning of generations and thus the formation of meaningless generation gaps. My younger brother and I are just 4 years apart and I feel that he belongs to a completely different generation. He doesn’t spare a single opportunity to make me realize that we are generations apart.

What is it about the time that has passed between then and now that make things so different? Everyone everywhere seems to be talking about their time and the time now.
With the economy so dynamic, the fashion becoming family, and the fast moving technology, I would imagine the rate of a dinner dipping and soaring and the requirement of a bag from Fashion Street becoming a necessity from LV and that of a floppy disk changing to the saturated markets of iPods. But how did every change in life get to revolve around the passage of generation?

If ballroom dancing was the classical dance of the past time and I hate to admit that the “grind” is become the classical of today. With time moving forward, the strength in relations has started disintegrating and I can’t accept how people attribute the disintegrating relations to changing times. I also cannot accept how the different generations are claiming their own moral and cultural values.

Its fine that now not even the smallest village is immune from a coffee joint or the apparel industry is now booming with tatters called clothes. I’d call that moving forward and embracing change – but to attribute the misunderstandings between kids and parents, the friction between families, the negative mismatch of ideas at the work place and the disregard and disposal of values that have been laid down by the “generations” is definitely not justified- if given the support of generation gaps in defense.

People continue sulking about how times have changed from their time to now. I just don’t understand why this time couldn’t be theirs too. Times are really not changing, we are … aren’t we?

Statutory Warning : This addiction is not injurious to health

2010-04-04T00:39:00.002-04:00

When I mentioned to one of my friends that I was working out while on vacation in India - I was taken aback by his reaction. He said just one word which dint even mean anything closer to what I was looking for. He said - DEPRESSING...yes just one word -depressing!

For starters - I fail to understand how can being religious about workouts be termed as depressing. I would have rather expected someone to say “wow - that's impressive" because the hell it is. To drag yourself out of the bed early in the morning when you are on vacation and snuggled under your favorite comforter in your own bed...your own room - it does take a lot of effort to get up and go to the gym. But fortunately for me - depressing as it may sound to anyone - working out is an obsession.

I hate to join the bandwagon of people where they claim to be obsessed about their morning coffee, or evening runs irrespective of weather - but cant deny it - I have climbed the train full of people where we carry an obsession to survive.
To some, my obsession for working out comes across as an act, or rather an act to overact … but who cares!!!

I am no fitness guru - and neither my diet nor my body can contradict that. I don't intend to give any lectures on eating right and workout regimes. I hog like crazy and eat sweets in my sleep and don’t have a Victoria Secrets model-body ( oooo how I wish :) ) body that would say something. But all I know is that working out is an important and inevitable part of my daily routine.

The rising heart rate – gives me a certain high. One of my workout-buddies tells me it’s the secretion of the hormone “dopamine” that pulls us back and back yet again to the gym. Could be!!! But I don’t believe in all that. The reason I go to the gym is because now it is a part of my system as much as brushing teeth first thing in the morning.

I am not anorexic and won’t starve myself to death if by some unfortunate reason I missed my workout – but now I would definitely be highly “depressed”. It’s an addiction – yes – and a good one.

People have innumerable excuses for not working out – the one I find most stupid and funny is – what if I stop going to the gym, I will put on weight. But my dear excuse-maker – why even let that happen in the first place. Just the way nothing can stop you from gorging on food – nothing should come in between you and your gym.
There’s a certain freshness you feel after a workout inspite of all that sweat. It’s also an amazing stress-buster. And if something that offers you all this and as a bonus helps you maintain that bod of yours – why run away from it?

May be I talk more than I actually workout… but I know these talks have always made people around me feel guilty and at the same time - motivated. No one around me can escape the sourness that comes innately from within me – when they try to “boast” that they have been slacking about working-out or have been too busy. I think they are rather lucky to have me in their company… atleast my sarcasm and ranting works in their favor .They have nothing to lose by listening to me – actually I take that back – all they will lose is lethargy, stress and those calories !!! :)

Brand Prostitution

2010-03-14T19:06:00.007-04:00

It’s not the tallest tower in the world, or the artificially made palm islands that are still stuck with me. I am back from a vacation in Dubai and not sure what part of the city I shall be keeping with me for a long time – the super-cleanliness and the impressive management and architecture of the city OR the fake-brand markets.

I have expressed earlier my aversion for fake things, but what Dubai had in store is beyond my imagination. The city tour guide who was giving important exclusive information about Dubai – interesting facts, stories, tips about shopping and along with all that did mention about the “copy market”. Initially I dint realize what that would be – but when we entered the Gold Souk ( Gold Market) of Dubai – where on one hand Gold jewelery was ostentatiously displayed, on the other hand the fake business was in full force.

Instead of calling it business – I should rather call it as brand prostitution. Because the way it is conducted is no less than the prostitution we see in the movies.

Picture this - Men standing outside almost each and every shop and without making eye contact with you – they would go – bags? Purses? Watches? Louis Vuitton? Burberry? Prada? Oh my God!!! Out of curiosity Mom and I agreed to see their booty. Now the pimps as I’d prefer to call them don’t have their “stuff” displayed easily. We were taken through narrow streets and then to some dilapidated building whose elevator definitely was creepy. And taking us to the top floor of that building – a small room which was locked from the outside and the key is given to all these “pimps”.

Once we entered inside – the place was bustling with European and African tourists. But the stars of the show – all the walls were covered with purses from almost all designers – LV,Prada,Burberry, Dior,Fendi. Besides they had watches from Tag Heur, Rado, and Cartier… The pimps sell those as the “first replica: - whatever that is !!!

What’s more interesting is the designs these bags were in – some dint even have any resemblance to the original designs. Now for a person who is not a connoisseur of brands – these might come across as genuine. But a close look – and you see that a small thread is coming out or may be the inner-living is not leather . I saw various interesting creations at that shop. Some of which the LV designers couldn’t have come up by themselves either. But what does need a mention is the LV dustbin!!!

Almost every girl in Dubai had either a LV or a Prada or a Burberry. Now I know where it all came from ;)

I would never buy a fake – but one thing I couldn’t resist was the LV blanket that I saw at a general store near my hotel. The store owner dint even know it was the LV print…and was trying to prevent me from bargaining for the “flower-print” blanket.I eventually got the “red-LV-suede-blanket” at a verrrry reasonable unimaginable price. And for the record - I dont consider it fake - coz Louis Vuitton doesn't even have something like this especially in this red color...so this is actually an original LV-print creation - ALLRIGHT ? :)

I have to say that Bombay is not far behind in the brand prostitution business. I saw something being openly sold in stores – that would probably make the late Louis Vuitton stir in his grave … LV Lingerie!!!

My Soul-mate

2010-03-09T06:16:00.001-05:00

You are the only one who can make me fall in love with you over and over again- each time I see you. There is this amazing inexplicable quality about you that draws me towards you each time I go away.

My connection with you dates so long ago that I don’t even remember the time when we struck the chord. I’d rather not sit and count the number of years we have had this relationship as it will seem too meager. I sometimes feel that you know me more than I know myself and I say this with great reason. You have always molded yourself in ways to adjust to my moods and have come across in ways that have always made me open mouthedly realize how can someone be so embracing.

I have always had my tantrums and have compared you to others at times – only to feel guilty because there can be just no one like you. Some of my friends criticize you for various reasons … they sometimes don’t like the way you look or sometimes think that you are too much maintenance and very expensive to be with. But the funny part is- inspite of that, I know they love your company and moreover make great plans to be with you. That’s your charisma.

Coming back to us – we have spent so many intimate moments together that I don’t see anyone else I can ever be so close to. You have given me niches in you when I was sad and wanted solitude and were with me when I was highly exuberant and wanted to celebrate. But we have had our ups and downs too like any other relationship. I wouldn’t be too modest in saying this – you have given me a lot on one hand but have taken back as much from me too.

Today we have been separated by distance... by the decisions I have taken... but I know and almost everyone around me knows how much I love you. How difficult it is for me to be away from you. And how much I crave each day to come back to you...

But I know that it won’t be too long that we will us away now… for I know that being with you is what completes me... like a soul-mate.

So Bombay meri Jaan… we shall be soon together. Inshallah :)
As there is no one who can make me fall in love with oneself – just again and yet again!!!

"Please" Mom

2009-10-14T08:56:00.006-04:00

Ever since I was a little girl, I've had crushes on men I couldn't get. It was always older men who would sweep me off my feet. Now this isn’t too unusual or bad at all, as some might have already exclaimed at my insolent words :)

My mom tells me, that it is something that almost every girl goes through at some point or the other. So to list my crushes - it was my Physics professor when I was 16 and then the director of my college when I was 18, a famous dance choreographer, not to forget the endless list of stars I lust after and the list goes on. Once I went to see a "Raas-leela" conducted by a famous troupe from Mathura - and you won’t believe it - I fell in love with the person playing the character of Lord Krishna, so much to the extent that I had pictures taken with him and kept them hidden in my books. My mom once pointed out that I fall for people who are in power and yes...she was absolutely right - I have even fancied Rahul Gandhi at some point too.

I remember, my friends hooting when my Physics professor picked me up to answer a certain question - and me turning beet-red - unable to find the right words to answer the question. I doted on him so much that I fell in love with his car too and would fabricate excuses just to get glimpses of him :D

Regardless of all I mentioned above, the purpose of my post is a rather selfish one.
This time I have my heart on something and I need your help to get it. Fortunately it’s not one of my professors or the to-be-President of a country...but it’s actually a thing. It’s a bag.......I know how ridiculous this might sound, but after trying all I could rather unsuccessfully, I’ve decided to resort to make a global appeal...No...Don’t get me wrong...I don’t need you to contribute to my bag fund - all I need from you is to go - tell my mom to give me her approval.

Let me explain: I am in love and love is actually not enough to describe what I feel right now. It has reached the point of devotion and reverence (yes - I am still talking about the bag). And it’s a bit expensive and as my Mom puts it - it’s disgustingly exorbitant and not worth the hard earned money of any human being. And the thing is – as childish and immature it may sound, but I don’t do the smallest thing without my Mom's approval, so my conscience is just not permitting me to go ahead this time also.

I have tried everything I could - request/beg/emotional blackmail....
Here are a few excerpts of our conversation:

Neha: Mummy pleaseeee approve...I beg of u...
Mummy: I've said no...Now its upto u
Neha: Mummy u know, I won’t buy it unless you say yes. You know how much I respect your approval. Atleast in return of the respect...approve
Mummy : I know u respect my advice so much and that’s why I can’t let you spend that much on a ....bag. You should rather invest that money in something like jewellery...or just save it.
Neha : Some girls don’t even bother talking to their moms’ about big decisions of their life like marriage…and I am dying for your permission to just buy a purse…could you want more
Mummy : Neha… you are literally trying to extract your “yes” from my mouth…but you know how I feel about it

So on and so forth...we have been going since the last 2 months. I have almost memorized the mom-pep talk ... you have no responsibilities right now…but later you will…and you need to learn to be economical…blah…blah…blah…
But as they is love is blind…and deaf… I have turned totally deaf to my Mom’s melodramatic speeches on this issue now…but I still can’t ignore them :)

So I request all you wonderful people to appeal to my Mom…to just give me a green signal… Please write to her on http://anjugandhi.wordpress.com/ and tell her how fortunate she is to have an exceptionally respectful daughter …and that she should just say... YES

I know a lot of mothers’ probably agree with my mom on this…but please don’t forget you are daughters first and try to remember the doll in the store that you were literally dying for… remember the longing? Remember the impatience?

Those Angels out there

2009-09-12T21:01:00.002-04:00

Everyday we come across people who touch our lives in a certain way. And in our so called busy schedules we just forget or rather overlook them.

Just a few months back when I was on my way back to Boston from New York – Now going to NY is like going to Lonavla from Bombay, if you know what I mean. The same distance, the same traffic if you miss the right hour and the same excitement. Coming back from New York is always a pain because the drive invariably gets extended because I could never leave New York at the “right” hour. Some store, some sale or something delicious to be eaten would always play a prank in holding me back. On my way back from one such amazing trip, I stopped at one of the Subways (fast food restaurant) to get a quick sub and get back on the highway as it was getting really late. Almost 35 miles and 3 exits later, I got a call from an unknown number which I completely ignored as it was so distracting and I was really in a hurry to get back home. Another 5 min passed and the seemingly persistent caller called back. Annoyed due the traffic, late hour coupled with the guilt of not hitting the route to Boston on time, I just answered the call. Apparently it was someone from AAA (roadside assistance service in USA) to inform me “Mam, your wallet and keys were found in the parking lot of Subway in Connecticut and they are holding it there for you. “Now…. Can you imagine the gamut of emotions I must have gone through in that one instance…? I couldn’t even understand that why someone from AAA would call me and how would they know and how the hell did I leave my purse … so baffled that I could hardly thank the person enough for the call. I went back almost 40 miles to the Subway to get my wallet with its contents zeroed down would sum up my life ( house keys, license, school alumni and library card , debit card, 2 credit cards, $100 forever21 store credit card , insurance cards , a $20 bill , and the lucky AAA card ,– none of these actually with my cell number on them ) Someone found my wallet lying in the parking lot and actually took the pains to call AAA and give them my AAA account number and look up my cell number and have them contact me. Now, to be honest, if I were to find a wallet in the parking lot, all I would have done is to hand it over to the concerned store. But to actually go through the wallet, find the contact information of the owner and if not easily available, search for something that could link the person… wow. I mean…that’s a completely different story. When I reached Subway, the person had already left with no name or number. I had no ways of thanking him… but if it were not for his honesty, presence of mind and concern – I would have been struggling to get my things back on track for atleast a month.

My cousin was in the Bean town from Chi town and we were chilling out at the Prudential. I was on the phone when I entered the restroom and maybe just left it there. Cousin and I left the towers and started walking towards my University (Northeastern) Almost 30 minutes later when his phone started ringing, impulse or instinct – I felt the need to check to my own cell phone. And there it was --- missing! Now the thought that atleast 1000 people use the Prudential restrooms every hour – the chances of getting my endeared iphone were so bleak. Numerous thoughts came to my mind–Apple would give me a replacement for double the original price and losing $400 from my new bag fund, the trouble I would have to go through to get my contacts, and then chiding myself for procrastinating to take a back-up on my laptop. On checking with the security desk at Prudential, apparently someone had handed over the phone to one of the janitors who further handed down to the Security office.

Now imagine if the person would have thought differently or if the janitor would have cared less and not bothered handing it over – I mean if it were not for those 2 genuine people, I would be fretting over on the phone with ATT and Apple to give me some discounts to get a replacement and not to mention the trouble to get the numbers congregated over all these years!!!

Therefore I say that there are certainly some angels out there who in the disguise of genuine souls help us in making so many things just a smooth sail for us.
Don’t you agree?

I am sure you too have some such stories to share - do tell me about them :)

Hi... are you from India ?

2009-08-23T23:31:00.001-04:00

Something happened today morning that makes me think again
-why do people try too seek cheap publicity in the name of God
-why do they wear the “Hi-are-you-from-India-too” mask and embarrass us “Indians”

I live in a private community where I consider safety and privacy as the most basic amenities. Around 1pm on a Saturday, I was freely moving around the house in my bath-robe, when someone knocked on my door- thinking it would be my room-mate, I just opened the door to see 2 strangers standing (which is not at all usual) I was obviously embarrassed a little, but thinking it must be something quick – I decided to just let them finish the work they had come for.
Apparently, they were from some Indian Association and had organized a street play to celebrate the festival of Janmashtmi (Lord Krishna’s birth)
To publicize this, they were apparently going through each name on the plates in the complex and picking out apartments with Indian names against them.
Also, the street play was scheduled to be performed in the swimming pool area of the community.

Now, I seriously doubt that the association (whoever they were) got or rather took permission to have a public event near the swimming pool. Considering a small gathering and a street-play style performance can easily be taken in the pretext of a small private party , which is “allowed “– the association people must have felt unnecessary to go through the right channels to seek permission to hold the event.

To go through every individual name listed in the complex directory, pick out the seemingly Indian ones and knock doors to publicize your event is utterly shameful. There are other inexpensive ways of publicizing your event – take print outs and ask the management of the community to distribute them along with the weekly community letter or simply drop pamphlets in the mailboxes of your short listed apartments.

You come to my apartment, knock and upon answering “ Hello – are you from India? “ and the hospitable people that we Indians are would never close the door on your face, so Inspite of being a bit awkward in my bath-robe and talking to 2 strange men, I did ask them if they would like a glass of water. And with a very brief introduction of the association they represented, I also realized that they did not even live in my community.
I was really enraged and tried hard to let that now show and rather be very polite. They started asking personal questions as in where I am originally from and then which part of Bombay (testing my patience now….) and then the main part – the association publicity….

Now I am a very big Krishna Bhakt and would really encourage such events taking place, so that we the Indian living away from the culture and tradition can get to learn and enjoy these festivals. But I would really appreciate, if rules are not broken , privacy is not breached and things are done using the right channels and hierarchy.

I just feel insecure because they could have been some impostors and using the Indian name and easily fool someone. Also I feel a little ashamed, because some people do not appreciate this uncalled visits of publicity and might go and complain to the management about this incident and tomorrow we might have the management sending us fliers that “Some Indian Association has been going around knocking doors and holding events without permission near the pool area – please BEWARE”

I don’t want that to happen … I really love my country and people and want us to be known for the good reasons…

Conquer your Fears

2009-08-08T00:35:00.003-04:00

As a little girl,driving a red convertible was only what I could imagine Nancy Drew to do...Never seen a convertible in Bombay, let alone sit in it and even more...drive it.

It was almost unbelievable when I drove my “own” car for the first time. My dream of having a convertible was on wheels. Never a great driver from my Bombay days itself, I really found it hard to muster the spunk to drive on the roads of USA… the ones that are infamously known as freeways, where one is not free to drive in one’s own way (like we do in India) Driving in India was so different and so easy:)No lanes, no signals, no cops …no Rules at all:)

With trembling hands, and fists tight around the wheel, I remember driving for the first few days on the roads of Boston. I would be so cowed, that after my drive there would be marks in my palms where my nails were dug into due to fear.
And then slowly with prep, patience and practice, I “mastered” ( in my own way ) the art of driving in the States and gradually realized how easy it was.
It was not long when I became over confident about my driving, would drive with one hand and would speed beyond marked limits. Infact, as a sign of a good and confident driver, I earned my speeding ticket also. (Yes, contrary to the belief that speeding tickets are signs of rash and irresponsible driving, I truly believe that only the confident ones can actually earn them)

All my confidence was shattered after my snow-mobile accident. Inspite of having no experience of driving a snow-mobile ( not that - it is required) , I wanted to speed across the snow tracks and drive it like a pro and Bammm!!! The odometer hitting 40mph was the last thing I remember and then was the noise. I lost complete control of the gigantic vehicle and along with it flew off the track. Going down the small slope, blocked by a tree and landed with the herculean mobile on me. 40mph and the noise of my helmet hitting the tree is all I remember. It was pretty bad…but fortunately wasn’t as bad as Natasha Richardson’s accident ( which co-incidentally took place on the same day ) Well all I can say is - HELMETS DO SAVE LIVES.I As a souvenir from my accident (which was 6 months back) , I still have an injured finger which refuses to heal.

Now imagine, the confident girl speeding on the Mass-pike involved in such an accident. obviously all confidence gone down the drain. I could not drive at all for almost 3 weeks ( pain and fear combined… ). After coming back on the roads after a not very long hiatus, I thought it was my first day of driving again. I couldn’t drive beyond 50mph on highways with limits of 65mph. Irate drivers would go past me giving get-off-the-road-u-old-lady looks. Changing lanes was a “feat” that I thought I could never achieve again. And the moment I would speed and see a slope and instant fear would engulf me, a fear of the road ending into infinity. These were all baseless but justified fears. My snow-mobile incident had left a deep dark scar in my mind.

And then I realized, I could not go on like this. I couldn’t wake up 30 min earlier than I usually do, to reach my office in time, I couldn’t bear driving in the 3rd lane (slow lane) always. I couldn’t bear people speculating that the driver in the red car is definitely a girl.
So slowly and steadily, with determination at heart, I laid my foot on the gas and started to get back to the pace that I define. I realized I wanted people behind me and on the next lanes to think of me as a reckless driver rather than some bloody first-timer. I realized the only way I can enjoy this again is by beating my fear at this game.

So, with miles and miles driven and a strong mind to get back on the tracks, I conquered this fear (yes... for the second time) …and I am so proud of myself:)

TOUCHWOOD!!!

Happy Friendship's Day

2009-08-02T12:31:00.007-04:00

Friend – a word that has a different meaning to each one, a relation with a different significance in each life, a bonding that holds each one in different ways.

We all have our own definitions for friendship and each one looks for something special, something unique in the person - one calls FRIEND.
Many proverbs and quotations have tried to capture the meaning of this term, each falling short of something that could do justice to it.
Friendship to me is the essence in any relationship. I think if a person can’t be a friend, any other relation will be onus. Be in a parent-child, amongst siblings, husband-wife … no relationship can survive without having a strong foundation laid on friendship.

I don’t need to be with or talk to a person 24/7 to call him a friend. But, the feeling that at any hour, I have someone to lean on to is what matters. Someone I can talk like I am talking to myself ( ??? yes I do talk to myself) and someone with whom I don’t have to beguile myself.

No one could ever know me; no one could ever see me.
Seems like you're the only one who knows what it's like to be me.
Someone to face the day with, make it through all the rest with,
Someone I'll always laugh with, even at my worst, I'm best with you.

Someone with whom I don’t have to think before framing my words and after gazillion hours of conversation there is still no sign of “what else?”
You just never fall short of talks when with a friend. That’s one of my most favorite things in friendship. Just go on and on, with no rhyme or rhythm in the conversation and yet they seem meaningful.

Today, I get very nostalgic, because I really miss a few friends that I made while walking along with on my journey till here. Some I lost to time, some to distance, some to busy schedules and some to other relations. Sometimes, when friendship starts bordering on the fringes of other relationships, it becomes a liability. And some people opt to come out of it - Its not every body’s clichéd cup of tea to handle friendship in the right manner. Just last week, I was having an argument with a very close friend about whether you can have someone closer to call a friend other than your spouse/partner. I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and I am sure everyone will have his/her own standing and opinion.
Now it’s a completely different story when I also agree on -
Everyone has a best friend during each stage of life only lucky ones have the same friend in all stages of life..

When relationships lack friendship, they become obligations and have to be dragged on. But when a relationship is founded on and sheered on by friendship – it’s just the perfectly-foolproof-ideal way you are on !!!
Remember – it’s the soul of the relationship.

Happy Friendships Day to all my blog buddies – (little did I know that I would find so many people willing to share benches with me in this blogger’s park :))

Happy Friendships Day everyone… Mwuuuah :)

A little aboout myself - because I am TAGGED :)

2009-07-19T14:10:00.005-04:00

Ok… so now I have been tagged by my “possessive and over indulgent mother” (as she puts it :))
I know some people who just dread getting tagged and fulfill this duty just like our ministers attend the parliament sessions… aka formality …
However, I am totally the opposite. I luuuurvvve talking about myself...Infact as one of the famous Hindi movie dialogues: “I am my favorite person” So shamelessly and audaciously, here I go blarrring about myself, whilst all of you dearies have to read through it…because … (I’d say you rather read this instead of me having to blow some more trumpets about myself)

Four places you have lived:

1)Bombay: Ae dil hai mushkil jeena yahan…zara hatke…zara bachke…yeh hai Bombay meri jaaan :) for me, the whole country can be summed up into Bombay and I feel this humongous pride to be a Bombay-ite.
When people ask me what religion/caste I belong to – it’s so confusing to understand myself that I just choose to tell’em – I am a Bombay-ite :)
That’s what this city is. Be here for 21 …or 2…or 1 year and it becomes your religion. You cannot be separated from it ever…never ever.
The city that never sleeps – the city that provides exudes warmth in every nook and corner. It’s the city that bounces back to life within 24 hours after bomb-blasts, terrorist attacks and heavy floods. It that city where even a stranger on the road will leave his most important appointment to witness your fight with another stranger and not move until he has all the details. And it is this stranger who will leave everything to push your car that has been stuck in a ditch. I can talk so much about Bombay – umm…matter enough for one single post :)

2)Boston: This is where I live now, where I actually grew. Coming away from the shell and shelter of home, actually learning to be myself, gaining independence – “standing on my feet” ( hahaha…too clichéd…isn’t it?)
Its here that I earned my first paycheck. Lived with people other than family for the first time, had mice as room-mates for 3 years (yes… eeekss…we had rats in our student apartments :))
A lot more feats achieved and working towards more in this beautiful city of beans and brains (yeah… around 200 colleges in Boston alone)

3)Delhi: The city where I was born. The place I associate my summer-vacations with, cousins, shopping, eating, meeting cousins and having a lotttt of fun with.

4)Pratapgarh: A small village in the interiors of Rajasthan that I proudly call my native place. Although, I no longer have close family there, we visit Pratapgarh very often for the temples and the very beautiful places in this popularly cultural state of India. The palaces, the temples, the occasional tribal dances, the street vendors with lovely pieces of jewellery and ethnic dresses and yaaaa…not to forget the “desi-ghee” dripping meals :)

Four T.V shows you love (d) to watch

1)Sex and the City: this one tops my list. I love this show because Big and Carrie are one of my favorite’s couples ever. And also for the fact that this show is all about Fashion – I live for it :)

2)F.R.I.E.N.D.S: This one I must have seen each episode of every season like 3 times and more. Infact I sync my work-out timing with Friends, else end up having gloomy, unmotivated workouts. And ya, Ross and Rachel… I love’em too :)

3)Koffee with Karan: This is a celebrity talk show hosted by one of my favorite directors. More than for the movie he makes, I like Karan Johar for the way he talks (diction, body language …) and what he talks. And I so love to hear the celebrity rendezvous….all the gossip, personal secrets revelations et al.

5)Lost: There was a time when I would be awake till 4 am and watch back-back episodes. Now with the deteriorating script, I still love to watch it for Sawyer.

Four places you have been on vacation

1)San Francisco: That’s my 2nd favorite city in the world after Bombay. There’s something mysterious and hypnotic about the weather, the 70 degree roads, the crooked street, the stores in downtown, the golden gate bridge….its a magical place :)

2)Las Vegas: what happens in Vegas…stays in Vegas :) you have to go there to experience it ;)

3)Orlando: did this trip with parents and bro… had sooo much fun. Total fun-packed place

4)Haridwar: This religious town in the northern part of India stays very close to my heart. The serenity of this place is something I shall never forget and makes me want to visit again an again

Four of your favorite foods

1)Things starting with “C”: Chocolates, cakes, chaat… A true Bombay-ite: I have a special place in my heart for pani-puri. Nothing so unhygienic and yet utterly delicious…

2)Pav Bhaji: Another Bombay blessing to the world!!! lovvvvve it

3)Italian cuisine: Some so full of cheese and calories … how can I not like . Served with a glass of red-wine and I am happppy

4)Gola: this crushed-ice candy fitted into a wooden-stick and dipped in flavored syrups… slurp…slrup...slrup :)

Four websites you visit daily

1)www.gmail.com : atleast once in every 10 min
2)www.timesofindia.indiatimes.com : mainly for the entertainment and gossip in Bombay times and even more entertainment in the political drama
3)www.cnn.com : for the serious more important news
4)www.highheelconfidentail.com: ahhh – my stress buster

Four places you would rather be

There’s just one where I wanna be
ON the top of everything I do :):):)

Four things you hope to do before you die

Now that’s a tough one … :)
Itna socha nahi hai …. And the ones that I’ve though about…ummm tooo personal
Sorry…. Skipping this one

Four novels you wish you were reading for the first time

1)Prodigal daughter – Jeffrey Archer: the zeal and fervor of a young girl and the relationship with the governess. I can read the book 100 times for these two things alone.

2)Doctors – Erich Segal: The story of two friends who are meant to have a deeper relationship than that.

Actually besides these 2, I’d rather read something new each time. So many books and so little time :)

Four Movies You Can See Over and Over

1)Pardes : hahahha…I know people going ewwww for this cheesy movie…but I a total sucker for this one :)
2)Pretty Woman
3)Sex and the city ( movie)
4)Dilwale Dulhaniya le jayenge : all time favorite

Now 4 people whom I wanna tag:

Aaaaa… I am not gonna impose this on anyone…and most importantly – my Mom tagged all the people I would have wanted to :)
So please feel free to take this cue for a new post and let us know more about your lovely self :)

You are still there ...

2009-07-10T00:05:00.000-04:00

Footprints in the sand
That we left behind
When we walked hand in hand
Remain crisp in my mind

Wasn’t it just yesterday?
That you held me strong
On life’s cross-way
And guided me all along

Standing ahead, so that I don’t falter
And behind, to catch me when I fall
Next to me, so that I am not alone
Dint I just have it all

You remain within me
Although we don’t see each other
This bond is until infinity
And we are forever ...

I tried to save the footprints
When we were not apart
Now I let the waves wash them
They are safe in my heart

A secret affair !!!

2009-07-01T01:51:00.005-04:00

After a stupid post - followed by a serious post, its time for a special one… for a very special…very significant person …papa :)

(This one was supposed to be posted on father’s day …but I am 2 weeks late)

A father-daughter relation is the least talked about. We all celebrate mother’s day with greatest grandeur and talk about how much we love our moms as if mentioning that ,is a part of our system. But, it is not so often that we read about someone celebrating father’s day with pomp or even less , casually talking about it.

Why is it that this is the most-least hyped relation of all, when actually it’s the most beautiful and inexplicably exceptional one in the world.

What is it that makes this father-daughter relationship so unique… so special? I am not trying to analyze it and neither do I have any answer to this one. It’s just that on every occasion of a father talking about his girl or a girl talking about her father, I am taken into a moment full of smiles.

There is this bond between a father and his daughter that is so mysterious…so unfathomable…so eternal..

I know someone at work, who in the midst of a meeting, answered a call, which is very unlikely of him. Apparently it was the store calling to confirm something he had ordered for his daughter. After attending to the call, he apologized to the room full of people, saying that “it’s for my daughter – that’s my main job. If this gets delayed, I don’t go home and don’t get to come to office too “
Awwww… isn’t that cute :)

There’s this colleague of mine - who means just business all the time. We were out on a team lunch and someone mentioned a dance recital. He immediately joined the conversation, because his little girl just had one recital. The moment we reached office, he called us to his office to show a dance video of his daughter. His face was lit with pride that I had not even witnessed even when he spoke about his patents.

Even a big celebrity magazine, just ran a whole issue on papas and their princesses.

Talking about myself, I cannot even start to explain the relation I share with papa. He is my idol, my pillar. His presence gives me confidence so much so that for every tough exam, papa has to come to drop me - has to cancel the most important court case.
It’s the faith that when papa is around, nothing can go wrong :)Touchwood!!!

My professor once told me that in Italian they have a very famous saying which means that “the father is the last wall between the daughter and the world” How true is that?

Protecting his precious baby from the world whom he perceives as an enemy when it comes to her, saving her from every small scratch that she might get , giving up pleasures that please him most for her. He’d do everything possible to make his daughter smile.

I know all this, because I see papa doing it everyday for me.

The funniest and the weirdest thing is that we go 100 times and tell momma how much we love her, but very rarely share this with papa. And the same is true for him too. How many times does he express it in words?

Don’t they say: like-father-like-daughter? :)

In my farewell party (for Boston), papa said that “we (papa and I) share a secret love affair”.

Can anything be more appropriate? :)

Love you papa…muahhh :)

Racism - trying to get some answers !!!

2009-06-19T01:34:00.002-04:00

I am not sure if I more humiliated or more angry at this moment, but I am definitely hurt. Nothing too heartbreaking yet not something that can be ignored.

Many a times, I have heard people complaining that they have been targets of racism in a foreign country. And each time I heard stories like these, I was nothing but confused, because I have been in the United States of America from the last 4 years and I don't have a single moment of regret. Never ever in the university that I attended, the places I worked at, or the current office that I am now - I have seen even a fraction of bias because I am a foreigner. Infact the experience has been just too good, totally un-blotched.

However, today at my gym, someone made me realize that racism does exists and it does not have to exist at the corporate or executive level, but even in the most mundane activities, one can be targeted. I see this lady everyday at the gym and in my usual manner (irrespective of whether I know a person or not, I without fail give a smile and sometimes to the extent of leaving the opposite person amused) Anyways, this lady (L) – a complete stranger and I, have been co-incidentally hitting the gym at the same time since the last 6 months and invariably everyday she doesn't not fail to knowingly ignore me. I don't mind if my smile is not returned and also that she would show no sign of recognition everyday is also excusable. I always gave her the benefit of doubt (as taught to me by my friend).But today, when I entered the gym, L was on one of the steppers and the TV was on. She had her iPod on and was gazing into the infinity obviously not watching the TV. I signaled to her asking her if I could change the channel - she took-off her ear-phones and looked at me and pretended to not understand. So I again politely asked her, if I could change the channel and then... she gave me one of the most derisive looks ever and very insolently replied - "No... I am watching it". Even if she wasn't watching it and refused to me, it would have been ok. But after sometime, a fellow-country man walked up to her and signaled at the TV. Apparently she had no problem with that anymore and very willingly handed the remote to him. Now what should I call it?

I am obviously hurt because I have never been rude to her and I can’t think of anything that I have could have ever done to set her off against me. May be I am getting a little extra sensitive here, but now that I think of her coldness towards me, I can put two and two together.

What is happening in Australia is something I totally condemn. If you are unable to give equal respect and acceptance to someone not from your country, then do not give the permission to enter in the first place. In my opinion one of the overbearing cause for these racist attacks, is the social, economic and intellectual affluence of the Indian students abroad, which brings out the inferiority complex in such violent manners.

On the same lines, the curse of racism is not only experienced by foreigners...but how different is India from within when it comes to open acceptance of people from different races? Is everyone getting everything that the democracy claims to be?
Inspite of being One-Democratic-Secular country – pedestrian jobs, college seats, higher posts are all blemished with the bias towards race.

What has happened to the so-called communal tolerance?

Is the concept of “One-World" just a fashion statement?

Is the sense of morality and equality completely non-existent?

The differences made on the basis of color, language, race, nationality, caste, sub-castes are prevalent in some form and some place almost everywhere. Instead of doing anything about it – the media makes the most buck out of this bang and we are silent observers, passive victims or mere loud noise-makers.

Neither of this helps. I am uncertain as to what to do about this, but I am sure to find out.

Please help!!!

Made for each other

2009-06-15T20:58:00.002-04:00

How many of you believe in: NEVER HOLD ANY THING. LET IT GO. IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU IT IS YOURS AND IF IT DOES'NT IT NEVER WAS!!!

I never quite identified with it, considering I am so possessive about my things, that “never hold on” was never an option.

But, just last week did I witness this and as much as I don’t want, I believe in it now. I won’t take any names, but this story is about a friend whom I shall replace with myself and narrate. Ok ?

All this started when I was all excited to meet this guy from school on a date. One day he emailed me that he’s going to be in town and if I would care to meet him over coffee. Do I care? Oh hell, yes! I do and I do so much to the extent that I go to buy a new dress including a very expensive, infact exorbitantly steep jacket to don with it.

He did comment on how good I looked, especially how pretty my jacket was, but it turned out that it was just an insouciant meet, no string attached kinda thing. As disappointed as I was, I realized spending all that moolah over that stupid jacket made no sense. So, I just went to the store and returned that “alleged” no-help jacket back to the store. (One good thing in the States – you can return anything anytime if you have the receipt)

Two Months later …

The boy and the date were history. I started to fall for this another guy, who suddenly one evening called me up and invited me for lunch the very next day.

Very next day??? Isn’t that’s too short of a notice – I don’t even have anything to wear for the date. Next day, I get up and rush to the mall to get ready for my date (as you see, I buy something new for every occasion). I scoured all stores but just nothing that appealed. Reluctantly, I walked to my jacket store and saw the same styled jacket which I had taken a few weeks back. The fact that it atleast looked pretty and fit me so well last time, I decided to try it. Got one for my size and off for my date :)

This guy too commented on my sexy jacket, but umm – no sparks flew during the lunch and I realized he’s just not my types. So I decided to return the jacket yet again. While checking the pockets before finally packing it off – guess what I found ….

The receipt of the coffee that I had had 2 months back !!!

Consider it - the same design and the right size were still in the store after two months and inspite of having a zillion options to choose from, I chose this one again… and not only the same style, the same size… but the same exact piece.

Whoaaa… looks like neither of the two guys were made for me …but the jacket… definitely was. Well this time, I shall not let it go :)

Isn’t that definitely “made for each other “ . What say you ?
Have any “made for each other” stories to share?

Audience - you are important !!!

2009-06-07T23:12:00.004-04:00

I am watching a television show and I am so infuriated right now- I don’t know if this is a correct expression or not - have heard it somewhere “I can feel smoke coming out of my ears” !!!

The reason for my rage is the audience of the show.

At a comparably non-entertaining performance, they interrupt the performance by a buzzer in between or by shouts of boos or with a roiled applause.
Many a times, in college events, I have seen such immature and brazen behavior oozing out of such tearaways. Impetuous acts such as turning backs to the stage and clapping – or by indecent warbling at the performer are often witnessed at such events.

If it is something that does not interest them then why don’t they understand the alternative of just ignoring it or simply waiting for it to end? It’s understandable that every form of act happening in the show or the stage may not be something you might be interested in – but its not that the show is going to go on for eons. Aren’t they patient enough to bear something for a few seconds than to hoot and shoo someone away?

Does this behavior make them look “cool”?

Do they even realize what it takes to step up that stage, there’s so much involved in a small act - mettle to face the crowd, hours of practice, fear of not-being accepted, jitters about losing, anxiety, victory over stage fright … and yet with shaky legs and high spirits a performer musters enough courage to step up…and the audience, blows away all that in just one unrestrained act.
Do they realize what it could do to the self-confidence of the person on stage that the person might not be able to stand up again for the fear of such a reaction? If you are not capable of stepping up on the stage, atleast do what you are supposed to do correctly - be a good audience.

It is as crucial as the performance.
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On a much lighter and immensely proud note – I want to congratulate Mummy darling for winning the “Best Blog of the day” award. I think she righteously deserves it and more than anything this is motivation for momma to keep her blog active and for us to to get more and more good reads.
Congrats mumma… Mwuaah !!!
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On a constructive note - today had my tryst with the “Sanders” and so in awe with the tools available for cutting, shaping, smoothing wood. Working on a small project for my room – will talk about it more when done :)

That moment of love ...

2009-05-29T22:10:00.003-04:00

The shades are down
As the night unfolds
In these waves of darkness
A hundred stories untold

Beyond the flowing brook
I see a silhouette dance
Why should I look-when it can’t be you?
And yet I steal a glance

Far from my view, the moon shines bright
And yet deep down there ain't any light
Within me so much gloom
Eyes searching for my shiny armored knight

In the deepest and darkest time
You have always been mine
Then why today?
You choose to leave me,
And let the loneliness shine

You dint teach me to be alone
And now I stand here on my own
Waiting in the ever pouring rain
Wanting to wash away my pain

The long wait when finally paid
You came through that door, I let out a sigh
Touched my face and gave that smile
And turned around…for the final good-bye?

My eyes still on that door
With that touch, my life started to soar
Your image I shall never forget
I lived my life in that very moment!!!

Make me your puppet ...

2009-05-20T16:25:00.009-04:00

These days the center of my life these days is my Acting class.

We have done a myriad of ingenious exercises so far in the course of the class…but there’s this one… so close to my heart…I am compelled to write about it. This one not only opened the knowledge doors to the art of controlled behavior and creating story from still poses, but touched my soul in an inexplicable way and also gushed a thousand feelings at the same time.

My very wonderful teacher has christened it as “the puppet and the puppeteer exercise” – where each one gets a chance to be the puppet and the puppeteer.

The puppeteer’s task is to bring their puppets to life, every single part to life and modeling the puppets in such a way so as to create a story.

When the puppet, you are a piece of clay with no brain, no imagination of your own. Just a still body for your puppeteer to model. As a puppet you have no sense of what next, no thought to be acted upon. Just be still and let your puppeteer move, carve, model you… every part of your body is in control of the puppeteer. Every finger…every toe…body posture...facial expression!!

The task of the puppeteer is more complex as it involves a lot of imagination, pliancy and creativity. Even though it has a nice ring to it and sounds cool – the result was no surprise when the teacher surveyed on which of the two parts was more liked.

Think about it – which one would you like?

Being the puppet won the round !!!

Each day, each moment we are in a roller coaster of thoughts, fighting to keep up with the competition, trying to be creative in thoughts, actions, projects…every place that we find ourselves in. So a simple break from the routine, to just be and relax its nothing but a much delightful break. And the outcome is anyways something so beautiful you’re your being a part of that creation is satisfying anyways.

Besides the chance to do nothing and just enjoy the exercise – there was something else I experienced. With soft music in the background ,eyes closed and the realization that you being molded into some beautiful creation has such positive vibes to it, that I (don’t know how to say it), but felt an inner connection with myself. Such calmness on the outside and so many visions unseen, so many echoes rising from inside - something that I haven’t experienced in a long time and it almost brought tears to my eyes.

I’d just say - try this exercise with your friends, siblings, family – put on each role (of the puppet and the puppeteer) and experience this wonderful joy ride.

I don't beleive I .....

2009-05-15T13:15:00.016-04:00

Just a couple days back , when I was having lunch with my "office" friends ( its funny how we categorize our friends as being "office"/"building"/"internship" friends)anyways the lunch - to which I eagerly look forward to as there is a mount of brain-storming huddle ranging from politics to technology , unsolicited reviews on books/movies , office-gossip that adds flavor to the morose cafeteria food.

So again coming back to my last week lunch - we were just talking about some of our incidents - good...bad...ugly... and it struck to me that there a few things - big and small that I've done and cant believe that I actually did them.

So here goes my quick list of five...with no specific order of preference..or asininity.. or smartness...

1) Last week after coming out of the shower, I realized , there was a crust of nail polish that was peeling off my nails which have been shouting for a manicure from the last month .(Also note here, that I have a habit of applying a delicious(lavender) toner after a face wash )So I decided to cater to it and took a cotton-ball and opened my acetone(nail-polish remover) bottle. The toner thing is so etched into my system, that mechanically, I dabbed the cotton ball dripping with acetone on my face. And ouchhhh... it hurts..it stings...it burns...I screamed with pain...when the acetone touched the arrant pimple on my chin...
and to punish me for my lack of attention... i still have an ugly red scar on my chin that sits there to tell the story of my stupidity :(

2) today morning... quick and un-deemed one : was talking on the phone with mom- getting into the car - one leg inside and the other dangling out - i closed the door - totally unconscious and oblivious - bearing the brunt of unsuccessful effort of multitasking ... and now trying to hide a big purple-black clot on my knee

3) now this one's one of my favorites... and its really hard to believe that (let alone me...be it anyone ) could have the audacity to do this...
Its during one of my engineering exams...this paper was one of the toughest i have ever written.. so tough that i remember reading the paper atleast 10 times, in hope to find a question that I could remotely answer...the students sitting in the first few seats had actually started discussing the question ( the examiner dint seem to mind it )...but he was standing just next to me ( last row...last bench...so that he could properly supervise the class? )... towards the end of the exam i was so overcome with paranoia...that I very innocently told the examiner " sir...can I please copy the last question"
i think..he couldn't believe it either....hahaha

4) now i have acrophobia... and moreover...i cant cant cant sit in rides that go up just for that funny feeling in your stomach...but with a lot of pushing and confidence building... i have a feather in my hat - I have let myself go through the amazing experience of paragliding. Although I kept my eyes closed throughout the flight :) - i have to admit that i absolutely loved it... and cant promise if I can do it ever again or not !!!

5) and this one... i cannot stop talking about...sometimes even in the same conversation i find myself saying this... ...... .... i have a tattoo.. no no no... i have twoooo !!!
This one finds a place in my this list because... I am so so so so scared of needles that once when I had to take an anesthesia injection for a small incision in my foot - the doctor had to call the shrink on duty - because I was apparently a case of "serious-needle-phobia".
When I decided that I wanted one( that was a sudden decision- got up - decided i "had" to have one )...I was as scared as I was excited.. but with a lot of convincing from Amit and watching him go through it first ... I finally gathered the grit to get those needles pierce through my dermis.
For the second one... I was equally scared as I was for my first one...again A comes into the picture...convinced me how beautiful my first one looked...and reminded me how much I wanted this one... and I gotttt it :)

By the way... did I mention - I have two tattoos ;)

Mummy - This one's for you !!!

2009-05-10T17:46:00.007-04:00

Its mothers day today… and I miss my mom more than usual. My card hasn’t even reached her. There’s a cool surprise in. Can’t talk about it yet – as mummy darling has yet to get it.

If I write about our relation, I could never do justice to it.

She has been a part of everything I have done in my life. Taking me to nursery school and standing, waiting outside for me, so I am not alone in the new environment. One of my most cherished experiences is Mummy coaching me for my elocution competition…for the “haan maa yehi kahahi” ( yes Mother! That’s the story ). In sync, both of us would say each line and mummy teaching me to tug my dress and give that am, extra stress on which word. Each exam, each competition, I owe my winning to mummy and she taught me to take the defeats in my stride too. She would gouge the old-paper mart to collect the slightest information for my history projects. For each fancy dress competition, she would scour each shop to get the best dress.

When in college, my mom became my best friend ( and she still is ) . There is no better shopping partner than my mom. She could spend all day with me looking for the dress I want and come back again the next day. Listening with interest about my crushes and all gossips about people she doesn’t even know or will ever meet.

Mummy has spent sleepless nights with me being awake when I study for an exam and with equal anxiety has waited for the results. She cries with me when I cry and feels happier than me, when I am happy.

I totally agree that “Because God could not be everywhere – He made the Mother”
Infact , I think it’s even a better deal…because I know my Mom is there with me all the time. I know I can call her at any time of the day or night… and just talk to her…be it about nothing. The very fact that “Mummy is there” is more support for me than anything. One single urgent call from me…and mummy would run from end of the house to another …and now I know…she will do the same from end of the world to the other.

We are worse than a couple having a relationship on the rocks. We fight and break-up every day and without making up the next day – we are gossiping about the neighbors or discussing about the new dress on sale.I know at times I am very rude to momma, but she doesn’t mind it…and doesn’t want me to go blah-blah over the justifying act. She believes in and has taught me too – that you don’t need justify to or expect justification from the person you love.

She has faith in me, even when I have given up. She encourages me to aim for the stars and thinks of me as the best-in-everything person :) Mummy….
She is my friend….confidant…my guide…my bridge…my confidence…my cushion to fall back on… my gossip girl…my shopping partner… my book club… my idol…see I could go on and on if I start to talk about my mother.

I have inherited so much from her –how could I not…I am a part of her .I know, her life revolves around her two children and hubby…and she has sacrificed so much – never wanting anything in return. I don’t know what I could be without my Mom. I can’t ever thank her as it will be too low and lose all meaning…. but Mummy, I just want you to know that all times, every moment, I love you and you mean everything to me. You are my world.

It’ll be a lie – if I say that I pray for everyone to get a mom like my mom. Because I want it to be the only unique relation in the world…the most precious …the most beautiful.

Rock On !!!

2009-05-05T00:09:00.011-04:00

UPDATE: Thanks so much David for the wonderful honor and encouragement by selecting this post as POST OF THE DAY

When I walked in that room, my mind was inundated with a gamut of emotions. So much apprehension, nervousness and ya that accent-complex! Being the only one of color (no I am not being racist or color-prejudiced), but it would have been solacing to see someone with a remotely similar accent or rather a different one than everyone else.

But anyways, one of the panoramas of emotion that I was experiencing was excitement- because I have always wanted to do this. Infact, when I came out of my mother’s womb, I was marinated with this and each thing I do/speak/think has a flavor of this in it. And that spice is ACTING.

Everyone who has been even in a seconds-contact with me can corroborate for me saying that ACTING is me. I am no pro-no professional-no star-no actor. Having being tagged as “Nautanki” by almost everyone, it can be safely concluded that every bone, muscle and nerve in my body loves to act.

By acting, I do not mean being pretentious…it’s just the dramatic and histrionic way of how I love to deliver. Be it some hand gesture, or facial expression or even a voice-modulation. Until and unless, there is some form of thesp involved, I feel insatiated about my message.

This acting class is my getaway from reality to fantasy and therefore into the reality of my being. Each exercise done,is a bundle of teachings and a profusion of intricacies of this wonderful art. Recreating your own behavior or recreating the story of a second person, reacting on instinct or the expanding and contracting of self – there’s so much to learn from each of these exercises.

I have to mention that the role of the teacher in every aspect of your learning stage is so important. My very wonderful teacher - Ms.Susan, can so adroitly make us so effortlessly do the concentration exercises and with equal ease, get the create the story ones. I have learned a new outlook on introducing ourselves as a means of transferring energy to one-another and it seems amazing.

There is so much to look forward in this class, that it will be a sin if I complain about the stress of hunting for an available parking spot in downtown Boston. I am so glad that I am doing something that I have always wanted to learn and do.

We get busy with work, earning money, fulfilling duties, shouldering responsibilities – and most of the time, our passions are sent on a back burner. It is necessary that we explore our inner-selves and do those things along with the mandatory ones – because they complete us. I feel complete after performing at an exercise in class , or even by melodramatically enacting a recent incident.

Its never too late to explore the passions within us and bring them to the fore-front.

It definitely makes a difference !!!

Dr.Adbul Kalam live @ Northeastern

2009-04-28T22:48:00.009-04:00

I am still captivated by the speech and interactive session of Dr.A.P.J Abdul Kalam.

Dr.Kalam,Ex-President of India, graced the opening session of the three-day Northeastern University green energy conference. An interactive session after the inauguration was coordinated by the Indian Students Association at Northeastern University.

Running late from work, I regrettably missed the opening speech of the session. But was in time when he opened the ground for questions. Student after student rose to ask causal, petty, genuine, well researched questions and Dr.Kalam imperturbably heard and adroitly answered them.

A person of such stature and with such an aura around him exuded an electrifying sense of humor. There was an overpowering intellectual presence that he brought to the room. Jokingly scoring the answer-seekers on their interactions and politely asking each one not to ask more than one question,he received an applause on almost every word he uttered.

When someone asked him to give one piece of advice to students scouring from India and coming the United States to attain further education – prompt came the reply – “Attain knowledge, not any knowledge, but “good knowledge” and instead of becoming “job seekers” – become “job generators”.

Talking at length about the importance of education, the importance of parents and teachers in our lives, Dr.Kalam also spoke about his 2020 vision and tersely commented on the political scenario of the county.

http://www.abdulkalam.com/kalam/index.jsp

http://www.indiavision2020.org/

Needless to say, that he emanated knowledge, experience, and savoir-faire - yet a staggering level of modesty, that it was honor even to be in the same room as him.

He concluded the session by stressing on the need to be a good citizen, no matter what nationality you belong to and what country you are currently living in. Striking a conversation with his audience, he made us echo one of his golden teachings:

“Where there is righteousness in the heart
There is beauty in the character.
When there is beauty in the character,
there is harmony in the home.
When there is harmony in the home.
There is an order in the nation.
When there is order in the nation,
There is peace in the world.”

He was swarmed with people seeking his autograph and the tall ones, taking advantage of their height, were able to hand over their scraps right into in his hands. Being short , I could not avail that, so in lieu called out to him – “Sir, I am short “ – he instantaneously acknowledged me, took my book and graciously signed it :)

It is very difficult for me to remember long names, but after my short rendezvous with Dr.Kalam, Avul Pakir Jainulabdeen Abdul Kalam is name that I shall always remember and shall continue to admire the legend.

Shopping for Labels

2009-04-24T00:04:00.016-04:00

Just a few weeks back, when a friend emailed me song the - Shopping for labels by Fergie , I instantly fell in love with it.

Shopping for labels, shopping for love,
Manolo and Louis, it’s all I’m thinking of,
Shopping for labels, shopping for love,
Manolo and Louis, it’s all I’m thinking of,

How can someone not adore something that is all about labels and love?

Yesterday ,a friend exuberantly flaunted her new Louis Vuitton bag, I felt a pang of jealousy. I have something that’s almost half the size of her bag and so longed to get something like hers.
But … when she mentioned, it’s her discovery from the street vendors of the New York - I got to thinking -

How can something phony be bliss?
I'd rather be content with my small but genuine purse.
There is comfort,happiness, an inner satisfaction on owning something genuine.

Doesn't the same hold true for relationships too. Pure and honest relationships have their own freshness and glory. There is no pretense, no burden, no liabilities – just straightforward feelings and their portrayal.
There are so many plastic relations we keep up to every day in our lives.
So many belonging to the "have-to-maintain" category that we stand-by everyday! If we settle down for untrue relations, our lives will start becoming bland.
Shouldn’t we just be true to ourselves and embrace the true ones too? Is the society so demanding that we have to give in to these banal things? Can’t we be just complacent with what’s unadulterated?

Anyways , To each, his own!
Shop for labels or look for true relations.
Be happy with the fake make or be a part of a pretentious relationship.

I’d just say… carry your own label.
Be yourself!!!

Temptation

2009-04-21T23:39:00.004-04:00

I can’t even get close to counting the number of times I have pushed temptation somewhere inside me. Be it as trivial as an allurement of opening a surprise package or as sinful as copying in an exam paper.

A few of the instances that come to my mind:
-to devour an ice-cream when I am on my 10081st (most-likely) unsuccessful diet plan
-to abuse someone in the face when my ears hear something squalid
-to tell someone to shut that boasting mouth on hearing some self-blown trumpets
-to call someone just for support in times when I am supposed to stand on my own
-to watch that one episode of friends when I am working towards an assignment deadline
-to make a/few phone calls to swank off my new designer sunglasses
-to cheat someone for my worldly happiness

But such are the ones that I have resisted with difficulty or ease.

What about the ones, we just helplessly and hopelessly give into?
Many such cases are thrown in our direction at every point on life. What do we do about those?
Rely mostly on our impulse to react to those? And yet there are those times, when a lot of rationalization goes into reaction.

Most of the time, giving in to temptation is something we regret later.
(Don’t get me wrong, there have been a few times when giving in to temptation is the best thing I’ve ever done. Like it’s said - Temptation is like a knife that may either cut the meat or the throat of a man; it may be his food or his poison, his exercise or his destruction)

A misspoken thought, a copied answer, a relished desert – somewhere deep down bother the conscious for a long time. Many have taught, many have preached and there are many who have practiced the art of victory over temptation.

Having said all that, I just don’t seem to get the art right. When I am tempted, I have a split personality. One part of me wants to do it and one wants to refrain. No matter what the cause is, no matter how small or big, no matter how harmful or paltry – it is always a difficult decision to take and always a double edged sword. Mark Twain said - “I deal with temptation by yielding to it” and boyyy… I am totally comfortable with this!!! :)

Don't be a coward - face that temptation !!!

Express

2009-04-20T16:30:00.009-04:00

The reason I chose this name is because I will be inhaling and exhaling a lot of thoughts, love, gratitude, information and ofcourse my own expert comments (which are inevitable).

Many a times I have decided to start my own blog, but more often than not, frivolous and ofcourse at times, intelligent thoughts capture my mind and I lose track of what I wanted to blog about.

There have been times, when I have penned down thoughts but decided against posting them to my blog, which I created eons ago. Yes, that’s true, my blog has been lying somewhere in the cyber universe and never has been adorned with a post till date.

But, today, as fortunate we both are, me and my blog, I gift both of us of this wonderful joy of “expression”.

Also, I shall make promise to both of us (me and my blog) that this phrase “I am sorry for not blogging in so long”, is something that we shall not have to face !!
(Read as - a few exceptions here and there, can squeeze in)

Because, I believe that “breathing and expressing” go hand in hand.

Keep expressing!!!